If you read my last post “When all is said and done”, you may have also read a comment I left in reply to a friend’s comment.
In it I wrote the following:
“Whilst my words are full of passion, when I read my own posts afterwards, it’s almost like it is not me writing those words, for when I finish writing a post and I get back to my daily chores and routine, my faith begins to dwindle again and doubt and fear begin to creep in. Writing on my blog is a form of praise and prayer for me, if you like; the antidote to fear and the lies of the enemy, prophetic praying where there are things I anticipate in the spiritual realm which are not quite taking place just yet in the natural, but I am believing they will in time, and I am hanging on to that hope in faith. “
No sooner had I written those words, I began to realise how quickly those things I had proclaimed in my last post were beginning to come to pass.
There are various things I spoke of which I could see spiritually but not yet in the natural, which have now taken place. Here is one of the main ones.
1. The shaking off of those things or people who entangle us and deviate us from the path to freedom and Christ-likeness.
Days after writing that, God released me from a person who for the last few years has had a tremendous spiritual influence on me, so much so that I fell into idolatry without even knowing it, because I valued this person’s word and counsel above the word of God. HUGE MISTAKE and one I will have to live with for the rest of my life, but as with all mistakes, you can learn from them or keep on repeating them. For a long time now I have been repeating that same mistake, but as I said in this particular point, no sooner had I written my last post the other day, the Lord finally revealed this person’s true colours with such undeniable evidence that I could no longer lie to myself about what had been staring me right in the eyes all along: pride, arrogance, self-sufficiency, false motives, hidden agenda, selfishness, lack of empathy, self-absorbtion, self-reliance, controlling spirit, idolatry and hypocrisy. I guess some of us take longer in learning certain things or it may simply be that this was a very important lesson indeed, and the pain had to be prolonged for longer, in order to imprint a very valuable lesson in my heart for once and for all. Job in the Bible comes to mind! For more on the story of Job from which there is masses to learn for any human being, no matter where you are in life, go to the following link: http://www.gnmagazine.org/bsc/04/sufferingjob.htm
The instant I knew that despite so many previous attempts to walk away from this corrosive relationship, I was free at last, I literally felt like a huge weight was lifting off my shoulders. I felt a sense of joy welling up within me for being released at last. I had many dreams about this person which clearly hinted at the not so righteous side of their character. I had prophetic people share prophetic words which clearly lined up with what my own heart and spirit were telling me. I heard the testimonies of others who had been hurt in a similar manner to the one I had experienced, but despite it all, I continued to give this person the benefit of the doubt. I trusted them to be the person they publicly displayed themselves to be. I ignored the voice of the Lord in my life which came from so many different sources.
The truth is I was petrified of challenging this person’s authority, because like so many in church leadership today, this person threatened all those who challenged their views, tactics and convictions with the biblical principle that one is to respect and obey those whom God has placed in authoritative roles. How do we know a person has been given authority by God to do the Lord’s work? Please do not be fooled or spiritually coerced as I was. Authority has to be earned by ones’ actions, track record and mostly by the fruit they leave behind. I do not put into question this person was once called into a role of authority within the Body of Christ, but I also know their actions are not those of a person who like Christ, decreases so that others may increase; a person that allows the power of God to shine in their weakness, how can they, if they are never weak, they never experience trials like the rest of us, they have it all already worked out, they have arrived, and their mission is to point the light to all those poor souls who have such a long way to go in becoming Christ-like; a person who is humble enough to become the servant instead of always being the master; a person who is prepared to step down from the limelight at least once in a while so that others can finally take their positions in the kingdom of God and be appreciated for the selfless service they do voluntarily and freely without expecting anything in return. Self-appointed types whose sustenance is vain-glory will often accuse those who disagree with them or question their ways, by telling them that they are only reacting because they are hurt, in pain and looking for someone to blame. Worse still, they may accusse you of having sided with the enemy and they will treat you like you are contaminated from then on. It should be fairly straight forward to find out in which category church leaders fall. Just watch how they react to people who have sinned and repented. Though they tell them they are forgiven, their body language as well as a relationship that suddenly turns icy cold on their part, will tell a different story. It does not sound much like Jesus, does it?
These wanna-be kings dream with glory and an abundant life and forget the core words of Jesus who time and time again spoke of a life of sacrifice, trials, rejection and pain. You only have to read about most bible characters to see that those who truly arrive are always the ones who went through the fire of affliction and who exercised repentance on an ongoing basis, because though forgiven, they continued to fall into sin. Self-appointed leaders are scheming and cunning and they will cover their tracks so that when all hell breaks loose, or when things do not turn out the way they planned, no blame falls on them. They will go to great lengths before admitting any kind of blame when it comes to anything that may make people doubt whether they are indeed a God-appointed leader, or the product of incessantly blowing their own trumpet.
When authority is self-appointed, rest assured the Lord will reveal those hidden secrets which go unseen by the naked eye, the natural eye. Hitler too was placed in a place of immense authority and we all know where the cowardice and submissive spirit to challenge his authority and actions led to. Do not be afraid to raise your voice to those who claim to have authority over you within the Body of Christ. All those who repent of their sins, who become a new creation and accept the Lord Jesus Christ into their lives are called to be a royal priesthood, and so it is that from that moment on, through a personal relationship with the Lord, you are equally capable of discerning what is right and wrong; what is spirit and what is flesh, as any self-appointed leader can do, if not a lot better and very often with purer motives . Authority within the Body of Christ is a much abused and over used term which serves to pave the way for those in charge to impose their own will and vision on the ones who would rather feed on what someone else has chewed a thousand times before than go to the source of all fresh food and drink: the word of God. There is a time for being taught and guided in the life of any Christian, but soon after that, the time is ripe to fly off the nest and begin that wonderful journey of discovery and personal relationship with Jesus Christ. He is all Power and Authority, above and below. Trust solely in Him, because if we never fly off the nest and stop being fed by others, we will never reach the heights where there is wonderful revelation of what is in God’s heart and will. You cannot give steak to a young baby because he will choke on it. In the same way, only when we are ready to receive and enter into the wonderful mystery of God’s plan for salvation and redemption, will we begin to see with spiritual eyes and recognise evil in all its true forms and sources.
I believe this is a new season in my life, an important season at that, and as such, I must be done with the old and begin with the new. The old wineskin had to be broken and shed in order for me to recognise the need for a new one. The final shaking of this relationship has taken place and I believe the wrath of God has played great part in the final unfolding of events. Justice has been established and I no longer have a veil over my eyes with regards to what lies deep in the heart of the one who once called me friend, but now rejects me as I continue to challenge their vision and methods; as I continue to be a nuisance which taints the dream of their own empire, which few dare to challenge or contradict for if they do, they will soon be cast out into oblivion with the blink of an eye. I am one of the lucky ones: I got away before it was too late!